Dialogs With My Teacher #72

Michael McAlister Blog, Dialogs Leave a Comment

May 3, 2011

Student: Have you ever forgotten more than you thought you could forget?

Michael: Interesting question, but could you get a little more specific?

Student: Well, something weird has been occurring in that I thought I knew what mind was, but in turning back to itself, there is such emptiness that no description really remains. I donít know what mind is any more. I donít know what ďIĒ am any more. I mean I know that I fulfill all these roles at work, at home and in the world, but itís like Iím losing a sense of being rooted at all. Itís bizarre, like I have some type of sudden, spiritually oriented forgetfulness.

Michael: Yeah. I know what you mean. When we start to wake up, itís less about what weíre learning and more about what weíre unlearning. Less about what weíre hanging on to and more about what weíre letting go of.

Student: That makes sense. Itís like the Big Self doesnít need to know mind or anything else, or does it?

Michael: The Big Self doesnít need anything.

Student: It doesnít even need to exist. It just is. And something will always arise out of its tenderness. Does this make sense? It is just strange.

Michael: Do you want it to make sense, or do you simply want to rest as that tenderness?

Student: Oh yeah. Thank you. So, I donít really know how to ask this so Iíll just fire away: what brought you back.

Michael: Back from what?

Student: From your, I donít know, summit experience. What brought you back down the mountain, so to speak?

Michael: Well, I spent a while forgetting what it meant to be human. Beer, football and peanut butter brought me back, but only partially. But Iím still forgetting that Iím here and that Iím necessary, on the one hand. On the other hand I also feel passionately driven to share this stuff while I live as a functioning member of society. I guess the big deal is that despite my blend of passion and non-attachment, I donít get caught that much anymore. As the awakening process unfolds, this whole life getís pretty relaxing. Make sure that you enjoy how life begins to express itself through you as your shifts begin and end. I mean youíre already on the cusp of this and probably have begun to feel how the mind gets reconfigured in ways that allow it to work in tandem with No Mind: the ultimate in reorientation. Itís pretty cool, but we need to continue our practice in order for it to stabilize.

Student: Thank you.

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