let’s clarify what the Buddha said about sexual relationships. He said that a man and a woman in a loving, supportive relationship are like a pairing of a god and a goddess. Hardly sounds like disapproval, does it? It turns out the Buddha was all for people committing to relationships and enjoying them to their full extent. In fact, he saw all human relationships as wonderful opportunities to practice loving-kindness, generosity, and mutual support. A long-term committed one was all the more an opportunity to go deeper in one’s understanding and cultivation of these qualities.
First off, if we take the Buddha at his word, which we should be careful about since we don’t know what he said, homosexuality is left out of the mix. This is interesting to me. What would Buddha do if he were asked to preside over a commitment ceremony shared by same sex adults?
My guess, and that’s all it is, would be that the Buddha wouldn’t attach to anything, neither would he avoid anything. Thus a contextually appropriate response would be offered. This is what Yunmen thinks enlightenment is: an appropriate response.
With this said, love seems to come in two forms. One us open, broad, and boundless. The other is an egoic negotiation. The former is the result of allowing our relationships to inform our practice, with the latter being a source of suffering.