Our fixed sense of a self, which we spend so much effort and energy maintaining, is only a creation of our minds. Again, this small self, or ego, is just as a dream—a phantom generated by our minds in order to stabilize the chaos of Infinity. Hearing this is disturbing to the ego since it sees itself as primary to the experience of being a self. To be seen as unimportant means the ego is pushed to the side and is therefore out of work. No matter what it adds to its résumé after Awakening, it will never be rehired at the same salary. To stretch this metaphor further: rather than taking a lateral professional move after this realization, the ego is forced from the boardroom into the mailroom. This relocation means that the ego can still be useful, but it isn’t able to use us anymore.
We might uncover a bit of this recognition if we pay close attention to some simple questions. What, for example, represents the “you” in this world? Are you your body? Your feelings? Your thoughts? Your perceived roles? Of course. You are all of these things. But the enlightened perspective shows us that we are actually much more. From the enlightened perspective, you are not what you feel—you are more than just that. Nor are you just your body. You are more than that, too. You are also neither your thoughts, nor your sense of space or time. The real you is that which witnesses all of these things as they arise and cease in your experience. The real you is this Feeler of the feelings, this Thinker of the thoughts, this Hearer of the sounds, this Seer of all that can be seen. The real you is the Audience of the Stage of Mind; a Witness that is aware of all things and is eternally formless, free, and forever beyond the flow of time. It is impersonal, shared equally by all things, Infinite in scope, and forever still. It is the Big Self.
As this Witness becomes more and more recognizable in our experience, the ego’s status diminishes radically. When the small, fixed, sense of self awakens into the Big Self, our former way of living, or what some might refer to as “the dream,” radically changes. Since death is nothing other than radical change, we can appropriately say that in this Awakening the small self dies to its old role. This death happens in the same way that any awakening from our dreams profoundly diminishes their limited hold on us. Instead of working to rid ourselves of the ego on the Path to Awakening, simply allowing our awareness to expand past ego’s grip lets the ego’s significance diminish on its own as Awakening naturally unfolds. To be sure, the memory of the egoic dream may live on, but its power over the Witness is lost as long as we stop attaching to the dream and instead attentively watch it play out. Fortunately, we get a chance to do just this as each circumstance, be it good or bad, arises in our consciousness.
Since every single moment offers us a chance to be awake and aware, none of us is ever done with the practice. There is no end point to this work of Awakening. We continually practice stillness so that the witnessing Big Self is continually revealed. No one is ever done with this process any more than anyone is ever done growing, or learning.
As a boy, I had a history teacher who used to say, “No one is ever finished with their education.” I found this to be so powerful because it spoke so simply to a curiosity that my parents had nourished in me. I never wanted to stop learning. My teacher went on to say, “Anyone who says they’re done, shouldn’t be trusted.” He was a slight man who smelled of cigarettes and coffee. His hair looked like Einstein’s and he would often show up to school with socks that didn’t match. His desk was piled high with stacks and stacks of books, and he loved his work. Despite his scruffy exterior, he shined from some place deep within. While his knowledge impressed me, his kindness and sense of humor impressed me more than anything else. He walked his talk, and I appreciated the total lack of hypocrisy in him. He knew that he wasn’t finished with his education and that he never would be.
These are great words for any of us to live by, especially as we walk the Path. Knowing that none of us is ever done keeps us from losing our common sense when we meet a spiritual teacher who may not be worthy of our trust. Teachers of worth know that they are also on the Path; they just may be a little further along than their students. They can still fall in the mud. Just as none of us is ever finished with our education, none of us is ever completely Awake.
